As some of you know, my son's birthday is right on the cusp of kindergarten entrance dates. Because of his current evaluations, my husband and I have opted to try to get him into Kindergarten a year early, provided he meets the requirements. (And at this point, he currently meets the requirements, at 4 years of age.)
I don't want to come off sounding like that one mom...you know the one: "My son is so smart and so good and he can do this and that and he's been doing it since he was 4..."
My son *is* smart. He's been evaluated frequently, just so I know how to best work with him and prepare him for school. These aren't tests I've found online, in a magazine, or in some book. He has been taken to our school district and evaluated by real, live, professional teachers. (See? I feel like I'm justifying my choice!) I am not a teacher, by any means. I was attempting to get a teaching degree while in college, but, as luck would have it, I failed college all together. However, everything I'd done in my life prior to becoming such a massive failure was in preparations for being a teacher, preferably elementary or special education. So I've been around my fair share of children.
We've been having a problem with his new preschool. As I mentioned before, his birthdate is right on the cusp - meaning that he is only two weeks younger, more or less, than the youngest child in his current class, because we've managed to get him put ahead a year.
After he'd been in the class for FOUR days, they gave us a laundry list of things he couldn't do - he couldn't write, he wasn't socializing, he couldn't follow their directions...never once did they have anything positive to say.
I have been trying to work with him for two years on his writing. It has been an uphill battle, to say the least, and one I haven't really stuck to. He's stubborn, I'm stubborn, and it just wasn't worth all the fights. When he was ready, we would go for it. Maybe I didn't try hard enough? I don't know. But here we are, he's been at the school now for almost two months, and the teachers are now telling us that he's *ahead* of most the other students intellectually. The oldest children are 5, but there are other 4 year olds. And he's on par with or ahead of them, educationally. His writing has tremendously improved, and he practices writing all day long without even being asked.
There is, however, an issue with keeping his attention in class, and keeping him from being disruptive. He also still hasn't made many friends, and when the other kids run off to play, he apparently turns into a spaz and starts running around, flailing about. The teachers keep saying "That's normal for a 4 year old, but he's not ready for Kindergarten!"
So here's my problem - he's not like that with us, unless he's just VERY tired or VERY hungry. When we go somewhere to play with other kids, he plays nicely and normally; no running off like the Tasmanian devil. I don't have a huge problem keeping his attention (unless the television's on, but that's to be expected!) and usually he's a good listener. It's heartbreaking, because they're not seeing the son I know, and I have no idea why he's like that, except that maybe he really doesn't like it there, and acting like a crazed maniac is his way of showing it?
He has been coming home telling us the "projects" at his big school are too hard for him, but when we remind him that he does all of his projects very well, he says "I know, but they're just hard!". He used to say his teachers were mean to him; now he says the kids are mean to him, but he won't elaborate.
We are all still devastated that his "little school closed forever" - but I don't know what to do now. I don't think leaving him where he is happens to be the best solution, but I don't know where else to take him. This place is convenient for my parents to get him, it's convenient for Craig to drop him off some days on the way in to work, and it seemed initially like a great place for him.
I think part of the problem is that all the other kids have known each other for all their lives, and have been going to school together since day one. The teachers don't like the fact that I've put him up, even though he's doing well academically. He has had a hard time bonding with the teachers, and with the students; he is a very affectionate and caring little guy, and he loves to talk. He can't find anyone who will talk to him, so he acts like a maniac.
I won't talk with the teachers myself anymore since the last time, as they blindsided me with all these negatives about my son and not one single nice thing about him, not even "he's got a great smile" or "he's sure a great eater!" Craig is officially in charge of that, because I have situational Tourette's syndrome, which is usually frowned upon in a school situation, especially when that school is in the confines of a Catholic church.
I just keep feeling like it's all my fault because I don't dote on him enough (time has to be split with him and the baby!) and that maybe I'm not working with him enough, or encouraging him enough, or...just not doing something enough. Talking with my husband is no help at all, because he tells me things like "well, we need to sit down and talk with him...." which usually translates to "Hey, Shelly, you need to handle this because I'm clueless!". I can't talk to my parents about it, as it makes me feel even worse, because apparently I'm not doing something right.
My son told me the other day "When I win the lottery, I'm going to quit school". He used to love going to school, now he wants to quit!? And I don't know how to fix it!? I don't know what to do, I cry every time I think about it, and every time I see his sad little face. I chose this school, and apparently, I had no idea what I was doing. I feel like I can't do anything right by my family, mostly because FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SOMEONE SEND ME TO HAWAII!
I really need to re-read my manual.
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