March 5, 2009

  • Get a life!

    I've been hearing the phrase "get a life" frequently, and I've got to tell you, it's probably the very worst come-back ever.

    To recap, I'm a co-mod for a Freecycle group with over 12,000 members.  I typically handle the most problematic members as needed.  Because our group is so large, we try to make sure everyone follows all the rules and guidelines to keep the list running smoothly.  Many local groups are more relaxed, but that just doesn't work for us; it makes more work for the volunteer moderators, to be sure!  Also, keep in mind that most of these members are adults, and they agreed to abide by our rules and guidelines when they joined.

    When members don't follow the guidelines, they're sent an email that tells them the repercussions: a reminder, a warning, a strike, moderation, removal from group, or being banned from the group entirely.  A majority of the members either don't reply or send a brief apology, which is great.  There are the few, though, that feel the need to respond in a combative, argumentative way.  Many of those members refer to me or the other moderators as Communists and Nazis; they tell us we must enjoy playing God, that we're clueless and are idiots, among other things, but by far, my favorite retort is to "get a life!".

    I assure you that I have a life.  It may be boring, yes, but it is a life, nevertheless.  I am currently breathing, blinking, sniffling, and possibly passing gas.  I ate breakfast, played with the baby, and cleaned up.  I plan to take a shower shortly.  I have also used the toilet and brushed my teeth.  I've read the news and gotten caught up on a few emails.  Most of these things point to me being a living, breathing, sentient human being, so telling me to get a life is quite redundant, unless, of course, you're offering one on Freecycle (and may I remind you that it's strictly against our rules to offer yourself or your family members?)

    When someone, *anyone* utters to me (or near me, or posts it online where I can read it, or emails it to me...) the phrase "get a life", I immediately assume that their mental capacities are such that they're completely unable to formulate an intelligent come-back that would be more appropriate.  I also assume that the words "nazi" and "communist" are a regular part of the phrase-utterer's vocabulary (quite possibly because this is true in many cases). 

    Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good put-down as much as anyone, but really, if you want to question my intelligence or judgement, or say something about my mother / brother / aunt / neighbor, be creative.  "Get a life" is really non-threatening.  There are days when I'd choose someone else's life over mine for just a few minutes, because, quite honestly, mine is tedious, boring, and boring.  Did I say boring?  But it's not like I can head jauntily to Wal*Mart and pick up a brand-spanking-new life fresh off the truck, no, I cannot.  (I've checked!)  So really, what are you trying to accomplish when you tell me to get a life? 

    Or are you speaking of the delightfully crunchy and delicately sweet cereal?  Because if you are, I have plenty of it, thankyouverymuch.  It's my favorite!