December 10, 2008
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The holidays have hit like a shit-ton of bricks!
And I apologize. I have so much to say, and I just can't seem to get it out. This particular topic needs to be let out, though.
My cousin and his wife were expecting a baby sometime in late June, I think. I forget the due date. He and his wife haven't been married for long, six months maybe? Anyway, we just found out that there was no heartbeat today.
This brings my old emotions back in a torrent of hurt, guilt, sadness....our first child would've been six years old this year - in a few weeks, actually. Some years I manage not to think about our loss much, but other years, something brings it to the forefront. She was due December 21st, 2002. No, we didn't know the gender, but it's easier for me to think of that first little one as my little girl. I'll always wonder....
Eventually it will get easier, I imagine. Anyway, I just needed to get that out.
Comments (3)
i lost one that was due in late december too. you always wonder, don't you?
My first one would be 23 in February which is a shock even to me. I don't feel old enough to have a kid that age! I only think about him sometimes and when I do all the emotions come back as if it were yesterday. I did know he was a boy because I was 8 months along when he died. I don't think you ever really get over it but it doesn't dominate every thought like it used to. I feel really really luck to have T.J. and Ryan because I was told for many many years that I couldn't have kids.
Well there go my tears for today!
Christmas snuck up on us too! I don't know how I'm going to get everything done.
Take care, see you next week!!
B
Ouch. We had a few scares along the way, but I simply can't imagine it. You have my condolances.
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