October 16, 2008

• I got the cure you’re thinkin’ of

  So you should *just quit thinking that*!

  I haven’t gotten my hair cut yet.  I think I may try to do it after our Halloween party, because we’re in a mad dash to do crap!  AAAAAAAAAAAARGH what did we get ourselves into!

  You know, I don’t even know the original reason why I started this entry.  Fuck.  Old age and all that crap, I suppose. 

  Melena is currently not eating her strawberries as we speak.  Those are her favorite fruit, but this particular berry is very tart; she keeps putting it in her mouth and pushing it back out. 

  Brandon is enjoying school; conferences are next week.  I’m excited and nervous at the same time.  The teacher has assured us that, barring any emotional issues, he’s safe to stay in kindergarten, and that if you didn’t know he was the youngest in the class, *you wouldn’t know*.  He’s doing well, he loves his teacher, he loves his new friends, and is excited to get up for school almost every morning.  He has gone from being shy and withdrawn to happy and goofy again, and we’re glad to have him back.  I didn’t realize how catastrophic his last preschool would be on him – I beat myself up nearly every day when I think about how his teachers were to him.  It was never his fault that Craig and I had made arrangements for him to start Kindergarten this year, so I never understood why they took it out on him.  Thank goodness kids bounce back easily. 

  Melena and Brandon have been starting to fight a little more – nothing huge, mind you, but Melena wants everything Brandon is playing with, and vice versa, and because only one of them truly understands the concept of sharing, it gets…interesting.  Nothing that drives me completely insane yet, though.  It’s almost cute to see her running after him shrieking like a banshee because he’s stolen her baby.  It’s even cuter to see her whack him upside the head with said baby once she gets it back.  Hey, you get what you deserve, buddy, we keep trying to tell you that!

  I’ve made a playlist for our party, it’s about 7 hours long.  I need to add a few more songs to it, just because that’s how I roll.  There’s a very diverse and eclectic mix of music on there – we play the list on random at home every night, and occasionally a song will come on that makes Craig ask me “and you think this is appropriate for the Halloween party HOW?” to which I giggle and just tell him to shut it.  He often questions my music tastes – but COME ON people, he likes Nickelback.  They were voted the worst band of all times on the cracked.com forums, so that should mean something.  (Or maybe it was the second worst – regardless, they’re still pretty bad!).  Sure, my musical tastes may be offensive to some – I love disco – but really, when you’re at a party, do you want to hear the same song over and over and over and over and over, or do you want some diversity?  Do you also want to hear something that makes you go “what the hell was she thinking?”?  I’ve got you covered.  Also, any suggestions for a good party playlist is gladly welcomed.  Just *no country*.

  The other night, Rosalynne was over, the kids were in bed, and Craig, Ros and I were sitting around the table, being dorky, while Ros and I sent text messages to another friend.  Craig and I were also bantering back and forth like we always do, when he said “Do you just HATE ME?”  I replied “Would I have done what I did the other night if I hated you?”.  Now, Rosalynne has known me for over twenty years, so she’s completely used to the nonsense that comes out of my mouth…but…her reaction was absolutely classic.  Fer chrissakes, Ros, I’ve been selling sex toys for almost four years, I know more about everyone’s sex life than I ever thought I’d know…and you took issue with *that* comment?  Just so you know, we giggle about it every night.  Okay, I giggle, because honestly, Craig isn’t much of a giggler.  I, on the other hand…well, I giggle.  Laugh hysterically.  Guffaw.  The whole gamut.

  Speaking of the utter nonsense of which I often speak, Craig has been having a rough time lately at work.  On one hand, NO MORE OVERTIME unless you get prior approval.  On the other hand, he’s the single point-of-failure for the product he supports, and if we call you, you’d damn better answer that phone and shame on you for thinking you can take a lunch hour.  So the other day, we went for lunch around 1, and he got a call from his boss, who informed him that his lunch hour is from 12-1.  Craig has worked there for 3 years, and has never been told that.  Why hassle him now?  Oh, yeah, because boss is getting hassled for something and all he has to take it out on are his team.  (wow, bad grammar?)  So anyway, I gave him a few suggestions for dealing with these situations at work:

  1.  Explosive diarrhea.  I actually used this excuse when I worked at the call center.  I didn’t smoke, didn’t take my full breaks, so one particularly rough day, after a 3-hour long support call, I took an unscheduled break because I’d missed my scheduled one.  It was a light call volume day, I was an assistant supervisor, everyone knew where I was going, so it wasn’t a problem.  We had what we called “mission control” that monitored phone jockeys, though, and apparently, I came back a minute or so late, sending off bells and whistles.  When I was approached by one of the MC team about why I was late, I just said “explosive diarrhea” and left it at that.  I don’t believe anyone ever hassled me again.

  2.  Blow job.  This is made even funnier when Craig works on campus.  Yesterday, he said to me “But you’re not here, so they’re going to wonder who I’m hooking up with which will cause other trouble!”.  I said “Just tell them your wife is THAT GOOD.  That will shut them up.”  Of course, he won’t use this excuse, but he said it does make him feel better to just imagine using my excuses.  See?  I’m good for something.  Unfortunately, it’s just not a corporate job any more.

  Okay, that’s it, for now.  Going to try to get caught up with some of you!  Later, po-taters.  And Ros, you’ll get over it. 

  • 11:03 am
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