September 7, 2008
-
Well Crap!
I am officially a soccer mom now, fuckitall! Brandon started U6 soccer yesterday…well, let me clarify. We had the handing out of jerseys and balls (yeah, my son got a ball yesterday. Insert inappropriate humor here, because you know I did!). I know he’s going to like soccer, but I strongly suspect he’s going to be the kid tangled in the goal net at the end of the field while everyone else is out running around. He might prove me wrong, though.
I think I’ll have a problem with the parents, though. Back before I was a fat housewife, back before I was a drunken college student, even, I was a soccer player / referee / coach. I started playing when I was nine, started coaching when I was twelve or thirteen, and I started coaching when I was fifteen, so yeah, I suppose I know a little bit about soccer. One of the things that was *very* important to me as a referee and coach was that the children learn the fundamentals and have fun, and not be pressured into playing competitive soccer. (It must be noted that I refereed games for U10 teams and younger, and I coached a U10 girls team, so these were beginner soccer players). I would frequently toss parents out when I was a coach if said parents tried to coach the girls inappropriately from the sidelines. Keep in mind that I was FIFTEEN, and really, not very intimidating. But if these parents got overzealous and tried to get in the way of MY TEAM having fun and learning a little something, they were not allowed on the field. I had one mom who did not like how I played her two girls – they were good, granted, but they were ball-hogs and not team players; can you imagine that their mom encouraged that behavior? I did not, however, and would dole out laps or bench time until the girls learned team work. Each and every one of my girls played every position, because you never know when someone wouldn’t be able to play. My best goalie was the younger sister of another girl on the team, and the daughter of my assistant coach. She was all of four or five, maybe six, playing on a team with ten year olds. She wanted to be with her sister, and with her dad, and she wanted to be my goalie. That girl was FEARLESS. And good. REALLY good. She was a tiny little thing, too. I often wonder what happened to some of those girls. Many of them would be almost thirty!!!!
So there are some parents of children on Brandon’s team who kept telling their daughter “Daughter, no! HANDS OFF THE BALL! You NEVER hold the ball when you play soccer!” I so badly wanted to say “hey, what if she’s a goalie? What happens during a throw-in? Do you realize that you’re going to confuse her? Besides, BE NICE!” The dad is the assistant coach. He admitted he watched about 5 minutes of Olympic soccer this year, and then changed it. Great, right? The coach also knows nothing about soccer, but he seems willing to learn. I’d mentioned my background, but was looked over initially, but I again told the coach if he needed any help at all, let me know. We’ll see what happens. I just want to make sure the kids learn basic fundamentals and have fun playing magnet ball…er, soccer. Because that’s what it’s about, right?
Also, there are a few of you that I’ve tried emailing evites to, regarding the Halloween party. I’ve gotten some bounce notices. If you’re interested in an invitation, please send me your current email address. If I don’t know who you are, I’ll promptly ignore you.
Otherwise, look for an evite!
Comments (6)
Jeez Shelly are you going to get a minivan too?
Sports parents suck! TJ was on the wrestling team last year mostly because his best friend was, Ryan started but only lasted 3 weeks and decided he hated it. I got involved with the booster club because they said we had to (funny how so few of the other parents did anything). By the end of the season I pretty much hated a whole bunch of them because they were so completely obnoxious.
T.J. wants to do every activity that comes along until you tell him whats involved, then he’s not so sure. Ryan wants to learn how to play golf. Sometimes I wonder which aliens dropped him into our world hehehehe. They are allowed to pick one activity each and so far this year they haven’t decided on a thing.
Do you think we should try to get together some time before I do something crazy like find a crappy job to keep me busy? Let me know.
Hey, evite or no, we’re in like Flynn for the party. I’ll make my world famous Saltine crackers to go with your chili.
Har. Nah, I’ll think of something good to make and bring, no worries. Got any takers for a kitty litter cake? I can totally do that.
As for the soccer mom thing, I’ve got you beat: Brenna starts dance tonight, so on TOP of being a soccer mom, I’m now a DANCE mom. Gah. I better get busy practicing ripping out little girls’ extensions, heh. :p
@wildboysmama -
FUCK YOU AND THE MINIVAN YOU RODE IN ON.
Wait. You drive a little car. Dammit. But everyone keeps looking for the damned minivan!
And we can get together, just not during SOCCER GAME TIME!
@Acorn7 -
No, you *don’t* have me beat. We’re considering putting Brandon in tap dancing, as well, because he likes to dance – only thing keeping us from doing it is that we’re already armpit deep in parenting-stuff for school, and we’re weenies.
No claims on a kitty litter cake yet, though Sheri is making Boston Cream Cake!
@darkerviolet - I USED to drive a minivan when the boys were little and I was taking care of my grandpa. I hated the minivan from day one and always called it the “goobermobile”
I was just kidding!!!!!!!!
Let me know some time when you aren’t busy and I’ll come over and bug you or you can come over here and bug me
@wildboysmama -
You’re welcome to come by any time, can’t guarantee I’ll go anywhere, with the little baby and the fact THAT I HATE DRIVING BECAUSE I’M A WEENIE.
I know you were kidding, but Craig suggested it, and another friend did…and if one more friend suggests a minivan, I am going to have to do something drastic.
Yeah, Rosalynne, don’t even think about it.