July 15, 2008
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My doctor appointment
...was today, and not tomorrow, like I originally thought. I did talk to my OB about my worsening anxiety problems, and rather than prescribe something for me, he suggested I contact my insurance company's mental health providers, and he'd help me go from there.
I was nervous about the appointment, because I honestly didn't want a drug, but I can't get myself to admit that anything else will work, nor can I get myself to make it work. I have all these excuses - who will watch my children? Sure, Craig can do it, but then how will I get to see anyone? Because remember, part of the anxiety attacks come from driving outside my little sphere. And besides, Craig has a *job* that I can't interfere with constantly, because he starts getting grumpy when he has to reschedule his conference calls and / or has to work *and* take care of the kids at the same time. Not that I blame him, but it sometimes gets ugly.
I've also gained far too much weight. I already knew that, but to have a real number, well, that's scary. Of course, my eating habits SUCK. I was not normally a coffee drinker, but I find myself drinking half a pot nearly daily to help fend off hunger, or I just skip meals entirely, and then, at or near bedtime, need a snack. Of course, my snacks are unhealthy. Of COURSE!
So I face a conundrum. At least I'm proud of myself for taking the first step, and admitting that, yes, there is a problem - now I just have to get it fixed.
In other news, there really is no other news. It's hot here. HOT. Well, there are other things I could gripe and complain about, but I'd prefer to do them in a protected entry, which may or may not happen any time soon.
So that's where we are.
Comments (3)
think how much fuller your life will be when you're no longer suffering from anxiety.
It will all work out eventually. Either some meds, or some counseling or some combination there of and well quite frankly two kids under the age of 5 is a lot of work despite what the men in our lives might think and they do need to give us some time and space to be US with out making us feel guilty although it seems to be a nearly universal complaint that they just don't!!
I'm very proud of you for admitting that you need some help. You have to take care of you or you won't be able to take care of everyone else.
Hang in there, and about the diet Number 1 tip DON'T SKIP MEALS Number 2 tip don't drink your calories.
bug you later,
B
Oh Shelly.... it will get better. I'm sure it doesn't feel like to to you, and trust me, I know. But you have people who care about you, that can help you thru this. Hey! I'm on medication, and I haven't changed too much have I? ok don't answer that.
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